Saturday, May 17, 2008 In Copy, El Maleeha | trackback

Dead Man Dancing With Lady Oscar

Personal Best Movie Scenes

DISCLAIMER: The following contains spoilers of: The Usual Suspects, The Departed, Sixth Sense, The Others, Michael Clayton, The Recruit, A Beautiful Mind, Mission Impossible I.

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Time for movie night again. Time to go crazy and spend some money. What a risk! Two hours of your time about to go down the drain for a marvelous, amazing, unforgettable three seconds! That’s what it takes to tell you my story.

Sitting tight in front of the big screen waiting for my ticket to pay off, watching big brother Memphis get together with ex-mugger friends, who are about to mug me back from the world of crime, I see the serious look suddenly rise on his face, and with a low pitch he goes: What else do you have in the warehouse? And I knew I was in for a ride! Then Gone in 60 Seconds and what a ride that was! A little over my promised three seconds and I have nothing to complain about.

I can’t say the same about my lies that took at least ten years after 1994 for people to start listening to, was it because of my pathetic crippled ass getting inline with the very Usual Suspects, or my way-above-average intelligence that drove people away? I may never tell you the truth but I can promise you one thing, whenever I refer to myself, I never lie.

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I love it when tension builds up around me, it allows me to brag about my leadership skills. I now gather my troops for the first time and make my stunning speech; yada yada, one chance, just one chance to come back here, and tell our enemy, that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom! Well, that was bragging I say, the real engine of Braveheart lies in the ability to do the impossible, how dare they tell me that it is impossible to invade England? Why? Why is that impossible?

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Moments of triumph are not my only moments, I am capable of pure evil that would surprise you any given day, in day light. I walk with my gun in my hand, in the middle of the busy street, and I point the gun to a friendly face, and allow him to utter his last words “you’re gonna shoot me? infront of everybody?” before Bang! In day light! Let the onlookers know about American Gangsters signed with blood by Denzel Washington.

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With all the tension around and a kidnapper on the phone, all I could think of was the love of a child, so I shout with Mel in Ransom: Give me back my son! But I cry along with Sean in Mystic River: Is that my daughter in there?

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But don’t be fooled, I have had my shares of surprises, was once double-double-crossed by my own people, who had no idea when they shot me in the elevator that I was the good guy to be Departed, I mean, they took me by surprise. I have found out that I was dead for a year when a kid with a Sixth Sense told me, and I have been denying the murder of my own kids and my suicide until I had to face the Others.

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Before I was dead, I sold out to my killer, I was the guy whom she could buy, and made sure to remind her how fucking blind she was not to see what I was, a fixer! But go back to your living friends and tell them; Michael Clayton is not negotiating.

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But there is one guy that I cannot beat; Al Pacino. This dude can make shit sound so poetic! What is so special about a blind man saying: “What life?! I got no life! I’m in the dark here! I’m in, I’m in the dark!” in Scent of a Woman, or “Vanity is definitely my favorite sin” in the Devil’s Advocate. So you gotta give him one thing, if he’s not a scary judge of talent, then he is talent itself. Recruit him!

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Anyway, a race for romance to win the heart of Lady Oscar; who is particularly demanding, takes a bit more than acting and scripting, you need music. I had my own delusions about dancing with Lady Oscar in a mid of a car chase, I think I delivered what it takes in A Beautiful Mind. But I haven’t been that dreamy all the time, check out my Laser Dance [Ocean’s Twelve], or the intro of The Inside Man [Chaiyya Chiayya], which by the way, puts Denzel side by side with Brad Pitt in Babel, casting aside their pretty faces to present sheer talent.

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Now I’m back talking to an old friend, just put the pieces together and found out that he orchestrated the execution of my whole team! I sing away his cold blooded deeds only he does not yet know it! And with disappointment, surprise, anger, and hope to finally be with my Lady Oscar, I question at no avail: Why Jim? Why?

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